My Project...

Right now I am madly working to get my classroom ready for the start of school. I am not really certain why I am doing this because I have 3 more weeks before I go back. I think that doing this project is a nice distraction from grieving and I also think that I might be getting close to agreeing to the D&C surgery. I know that it is silly to feel scarred, but I am. I am afraid that I will react badly to the anesthesia or not wake up from it. I am also afraid of blood clots and of scaring that will prevent pregnancy in the future. I really want to do this naturally, but I know I can't do this during school. Emotionally, it will be just too much. With no signs of spotting, I know that I will have to make a decision soon. I just wish it would happen naturally... I guess I fail at being pregnant and at miscarrying both...