My fucking husband...
Is being an asshole...
I get that guys struggle to understand how a miscarriage can affect women and I also know that I should be over this shit by now, but I am not...
Every part of me aches to have a child and each day is a reminder of what could have been...
I knew that he wouldn't remember when the first baby we were supposed to have was due, but I certainly do...
He doesn't get that when I lost my pregnancies, my dreams of becoming a mother were also lost... He doesn't get that losing your dream is one of the hardest things to lose... I lost my hope... I lost my happily ever after... I lost the ability to be in control of my emotions...
Even though these loses may only be temporary, it is hard right now...
I didn't expect a fucking pity party, but when I say "Honey, the weekend you are planning to go to deer camp is also the weekend when we were due the first time" I do expect for my husband to avoid being an asshole...
Sometimes I wonder if the reason God has said fuck you, you can't be a parent is because his infinite wisdom at work...
And a big fuck you goes out to my fucking ovaries for not releasing a fucking egg this month...
Listen To This: Eyes On You!
5 years ago
1 comment:
Just so you know, there's no set time that a person just "gets over it". Sometimes I feel like I am over it, sometimes I feel like it just happened. The worst is CD1.
But it is frustrating - last week I had an argument with my husband because I was emotional about a work shower, and he thought he'd make a joke about it. I was so surprised at his insensitivity that I made him sleep on the couch.
all that said, I UNDERSTAND. it comes and goes.
do you want to hear something funny? the word for the word verification right now is "HOPING".
if that's not a sign, i don't know what is. now, if only i can figure out what it means. :)
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