Fuck Today...

That's right... Fuck today... Why? You ask... Because no matter how much I think about all this, I still can't figure out why God is doing this to us. I think he hates us maybe... It is bad enough that I am struggling through my second loss, but then I am tortured with choosing between waiting for this to happen or get a fucking abortion... Even though they call it a D&C, it is really the same thing. Then on top of everything, I get to watch two people in my life, who are very close to me, be pregnant. Now, it is not that I wish they weren't pregnant or that somethings goes wrong, because I want it to work so badly for these people, they deserve it. It is too much to handle for me. I will meet my niece(s) or nephew(s) knowing full well that I should deliver their cousin only two short weeks after their birth. I will plan and attend stupid ass baby showers only to be asked by asinine family member about when I am planning to have children. Fuck life right now... I am so pissed off.

PS: I know that my grammar blows the big one in this post... Deal with it... Also, I am being evasive with names because the two close people haven't really shared that they are pregnant with everybody yet.