2 years and 6 months...

I now have a two year old in my house! Can you say AWESOME? I can't believe two years have gone by since lil Charlie joined this world. He runs, and laughs and talks and he is just amazing! We celebrated his birthday with 20 of our closest peeps. Even though it is totally against every manner guide, I asked for limited toys... We are really overloaded with toys and have little space to store anything else. Plus, I am against most toys with batteries and end up banishing them to the basement where they see little use. He didn't really notice. He ate massive amounts of cake at his party and played with balloons and jumped in his bounce house. His smile told me that he had a blast! He is just a little charmer!
Our little Ms. Six Month Old Evie is teething! She got her first tooth a couple of days ago, and let me tell ya, she has slept like shit through this process. Poor kid and poor mom... Now that I am back to work, I can't slide those afternoon naps in and bedtime can't come quick enough. She is such a sweet, pleasant baby, but I can't help but feel like she only tolerates me. She is a daddy's girl all they way... She does flash the best smiles that warm your heart. She is rolling and almost sitting. She is interested in everything her bother does which is very endearing to me because they get along so well right now (I know this won't last). She also, finally has a bedroom. Charlie is now in a big boy bed and Evie has a pink room. Even though she is still sleeping with us most of the time, I am hoping soon she'll start to get sick of her daddy's snoring and my constant bed hogging and want to sleep in her own space.

Just another day in the life of the Murph's... Paradise!

Up North!

We are on our way up north as I'm blogging. Thank heaven for IPhones! This will be a much needed break before the craziness of school starts again. Up north is always fun filled family time with no obligations of home life and I definitely need this time. Being at home has been extremely taxing lately. I think any mom who has lost 5 months of sleep living with a teething baby probably feels like me right now, but I have extreme guilt because I feel this way. I never take a moment with my children for granted because I know what a true blessing they are and how lucky we are to have both of them, but I am just in need of a little break. Tony has been working mad-crazy hours and sometimes I feel like a single mom. He has been gearing up to travel to Germany for work which is an amazing opportunity, but holy Hannah his job is demanding. As P-Diddy says, "More money, more problems."

Anyways... Enough of the whining...

My baby boy is almost two! Where had the time gone? I love that he and I hold tiny two year old conversations (mostly about trucks, trains and tractors) and I love his sense of humor. I also love how he mimics everything including some choice swear words that his momma may have uttered once or twice.

My baby girl is almost 6 months old and still refusing the bottle even when it has boob juice in it. I do believe she is also popping a bottom tooth. We are really working on a routine, but she is her momma's daughter and her strong will tells us that she'll eat and sleep when she is damned well ready.

That's all for now! We are almost there!

Bad Blogger

Yeah
I am a bad blogger...

I am swamped with school stuff and life stuff lately.
Plus, sleep is an amazing gift, so when I get the chance, it is my top hobby of choice!

Speaking of sleep...

Charlie has decided that he is not a baby that sleeps through the night anymore. He and I have spent many midnight hours together lately and all I can say is that it is a good thing he is so cute...

Speaking of refusing to do stuff...

Charlie also refuses to walk. He knows how, but he sees no reason to do it because he can crawl more efficently especially when I leave the baby gate opened.

He does give kisses and high fives. I totally teach him useless stuff, but it makes me smile to get his sloppy smooches. And honestly, what 1 year old needs to know how to read a book?

Going back to school after summer has been extremley difficult. It is even more difficult than going back from my maternity leave. I am struggling to balance it all, but Tony has been amazing at helping out. He is a great hubby to have and Charlie and I are lucky to have him.

What else???

There is so much!

I got a new car. My Beetle has been replaced with a Chevy Exquinox Mom-moble. I will miss my Buggy, but it is so nice to not have to crawl in the back to strap Charlie in and out.

As for the new pregnancy...

Holy Shit! I am 17 weeks. Where is this kid going to sleep? If it is a she, what will she wear? Double diapers! Breastfeeding again! Maternity leave!

Yikes...

I need to get planning!

We have names (Frankie or Evie short for Franklin Anthony or Evelyn Elizabeth) and will find out which it will be soon. Everything is progressing perfectly... Weird... But AWESOME!

Anyway... I have to pee so this is it for now... More soon... Actually, probably not so soon, but maybe!

Life Currently...

Life currently is a little crazy...

Charlie got sick this week for the first time in his life...

He had a random fever of 104 for like two days and holy shit that is scary! All the little guy wanted was to cuddle for three straight days. He just felt miserable. We went to the doctor and she couldn't find any ear or throat infections which meant that he had to go through some very unpleasant things to find out what was wrong. The first was a urine sample in which he had to have a catheter inserted to collect a sample to see if it was a bladder infection...
No dice...

Then he had to have a ridiculous amount of blood drawn for further testing. He was unhappy about all of this, but I was truly traumatized. Tony will now have the job of taking Charlie to the doctor because I cannot handle it...

Charlie is now on antibiotics and we'll have the lab results tomorrow. In the meantime his antibiotics are making him break out in rashy hives which makes him crankier than his knocked up mom...

Oh this is so fucking fun...

I just want my happy health boy back.

In other news, my boss totally announced that I was pregnant to all of my coworkers... Yea... At 10+ weeks... SofuckinglividandscaredthatIamnowjinxed... I felt I had to tell him, because word was spreading quick and I don't mind if people know, but if something happens, I don't want to have to face everyone to tell them...

I hate that kind of pity...

Speaking of school...

I go back in three weeks. I have loved the time with my boy, but I am ready to go back. He is also ready to spend time away from me. He totally loves hanging with his Aunt Jenny and cousin Brock and I am so pleased to have he care for him. She is great.

I am starting to do my lesson plans. I have most of my one prep done for the year, but the other is going to be a challenge. I am anal about being organized and insist on having my planning completed before school starts because it makes my year so much easier. This means that basically, I'll only have to look at a calendar and go to my unit binders grab the copies I need or mini-lesson notes for the day during the year. Plus, by doing this now it will help when I also my maternity leave rolls around.

Camping

This weekend we went camping in the new tent Tony got for father's day. It was hot, but we had a blast. We spent the weekend with two of our close friend couples with boys with the same age as Charlie. We went to the TC Cherry festival and then the beach. It was a great way to spend some much needed time as a family. Here are some pics to show our fun!

Charlie LOVES swimming.
This picture doesn't even come close to showing how much he enjoys splashing around...

He is so brave. He totally crawls out until the water starts to cover his face and wants nothing to do with any floaty devices.

He also loved the sand. He ate at least 3 fist fulls.


After swimming, Charlie was tuckered out, so he took a little nap.


Charlie was perched on top of his daddy's shoulders for the entire show and was totally captivated. He must get that from me because I also love fireworks.


Overall, it was a great weekend with great friends and I find myself wondering how will these outing go with two!

Speaking of number two... How blessed am I?

I almost feel like this is too good to be true.

My numbers are doubling and I don't even have to go one progestrone this time.

I have an ultrasound on the 20th of this month and I am so excited and hopeful to see that little heartbeat.

I am also feeling all of those emotions that I felt before.

I am scared...

I am so scared to lose another.

I know what could be and it makes me sad about the things that weren't.

Because of my experiences, I will never take motherhood or my children for granted. Everyday I wake up and I know what a blessing I have.

Today, I saw a mom yelling at her 11 month old in the store.

The words "no, you are bad" spewed from her mouth and my heart shattered.

What 11 month old is bad?

I hate that some people have the privledge to be a mom. They are trash and don't deserve it.

Anyway... That was buggin' me.

Not many symptoms yet. I feel extra sleepy, but charlie hasn't been sleeping well so I attribute it to that.

I wish I felt something more.

A sore boob, a gag...

Something...

Oh well...

A great big update!

So I have noticed that I am a shitty mommy blogger, but oh well.
Now that it is summer, hopefully I will find time to post more...
So here is what we have been up to during the last couple of months...
I am starting way back in February, because that is when I really started to slack...

February
-Returned to work :(
-Sister-in-Law, Cousin and In laws watch Charlie while I am gone
-The daycare is going well, but I MISS CHARLIE so much so that Tony and I fight over who gets to put him to sleep
-Breastfeeding has officially ceased
-He mastered rolling and scooting backwards and he says momma
-At his 6 month check-up his weight is 18 pounds and 9 ounces and he is 27.5 inches tall
-His favorite toy is the fan pull (Thanks daddy for teaching him that!)

March
-I adjust to work and am counting the days until summer break
-Charlie and momma have conversations back and forth by squealing
-Charlie now crawls (it is more like and inchworm) and reaches for toys
-He wears size 3 diapers and is in 6-9 month clothing
-Two teeth on the bottom made appearances this month
-Almost spring break!

April
-Charlie crawls (inchworms) all over... We totally need to baby proof our house!
-Charlie celebrates Easter and mommy gets some super cute pictures
-Spring break road trip to South Carolina is a success
-Visited the Atlantic Ocean and ate sand
-Pull ups are not just a diaper... Charlie now climbs on everything.
-Cousin Brittany babysits Charlie for Momma & Poppa's first date night since he was born
-Currently weight 21.10 pounds and is 29 inches tall

May
-The crawl is officially a four wheeling crawl at full speed
-Two more teeth show up, this time they are on top
- Charlie is in 9-12 month clothing and weighs 22.08 pounds and 29.5 inches tall
-Harvey, Charlie's new cousin, is born
-Charlie flies to California for a wedding and back all in one weekend
-Toes splash in the Pacific ocean and no sand is eaten this time
-Poppa takes Charlie on his first lawn mower ride
-Grandma and Grandpa R watch Charlie over night while mommy and daddy go to a wedding. This is the first time we ever left him with anyone over night.

June
-Chunks of soft food are Charlie's favorite especially strawberries
-Summer break starts!
-Charlie visits the cabin up-north two week-end in a row
-Two more teeth pop through on the top
-Our chubby cubby wear size 4 diapers and is in 12-18month clothing
-He is cruising all over and will be walking in no time
-Charlie can high-five, make fart noises on my skin, and move his hand up and down on his lips to make the cutest sound ever

Wow! That took a while... Anyway hope you enjoyed the update, a picture update will be coming soon!

Oh, and I hope you like the new look! I needed a change!

Busy, busy, busy...

Just when I though life couldn't get busier, it does! Work has been killing me lately. So much grading and so many extra activities are bogging me down. The good news is that I am getting my tenure and in the teaching business, this is a BIG deal. I am also getting a student teacher next year which is a huge honor because it means my boss thinks that I can positively influence other aspiring teachers. 34 more days until summer!
Enough work talk...

On to more important topics...

Like Charlie!

He is 8 months old tomorrow!
He currently weighs 21.10 pounds and is 29 inches tall.
Ladies and gentleman, we have a football player on our hands!
He has two bottom teeth and loves to say "momma" and "dadda" nonstop!
He also enjoys singing and electrical outlets.
He loves to pull himself up on just about everything and is getting brave enough to let go of things to see how long he can stand on his own. He loves to crawl around our floors and his favorite place to hang out is in the bathroom (Yuck!).

Our spring brink trip went very well. 17 hours in a car didn't phase our happy little chubby cubby at all. Went took him to the ocean and he ate some sand. We explored Charleston, SC and the little town of Folly Beach where we stayed with two other couples. It was too short of a trip to be worth the 17 hour drive there and back, but I loved being away with my boys. Also, I am thoroughly impressed that all three of us and all of the baby junk fit into my little Beetle. I am in need of a better mom mobile ASAP, but I LOVE my bug and don't want to give it up!

Every weekend from here until June is booked for us! Tony is a bestman in two weddings so we have showers, bachelor/ bachelorette parties, and wedding up the wazoo! We have to fly to California for one and organizing that was a major PITA, but it was worth it because I love the couple and I LOVE Cali!

In other news...

We are officially trying to get pregnant again this cycle. Our hope is for a spring baby, but we would feel blessed no matter when he or she comes. If he or she never does come, I feel beyond blessed to have Charlie. I know that going through what we have been through has given me a different perspective on motherhood. I don't take a moment for granted. Even when I am drop dead tired, I never forget what a blessing he is. I also think having Charlie also makes the miscarriages a little more difficult in ways... I know they weren't formed or viable, but I still wonder what they would have been. I wonder if they would have the same color of eyes as Charlie or if they a would be as mild tempered as he his...

I also wonder if Charlie was always my first, but his time wasn't meant to be until it was... I wonder if his soul was just waiting to to join that little baby body when I was finally able to carry it. I will never have the answers, but I have my Charlie and that is good enough.

100 Word Update...

Work's good but busy...

Charlie is getting big...

And he's getting a tooth...

On the bottom…

Sleeps through the night…

WOOT!

Goodbye 3-6 month clothes...

Hello 6-9 month clothes...

Almost Crawling...

We want another...

Ovulated last Monday...

Hello first period since forever or...

Maybe a baby?

I’ll keep you updated…

Eek…

Holy shit…

Another!

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves…

My birthday is almost here…

My wish from last year has come true…

Big spring break trip to North Carolina with friends soon…

Where to begin with the packing?

Only 55 until summer break…

Can’t wait…

Love my little boy!

A New Routine...

So my in my last post I was seriously sleep deprived. Since then, we have implemented a new routine. It is the E.A.S.Y routine. Basically, Charlie eats, then does activities, then sleeps so I can have "you" time. This is The Baby Whisperer's' method and it truly makes my days easier. He is a much happier baby on this routine. At night we have made improvements but he still wakes 2-3 times per night so there is work to be done. He is finally sleeping in his crib now for the majority of sleep. I also don't have to nurse him to get him back to sleep (although it is a much easier way of doing so). Another big improvement is that he puts himself to sleep for naps and bed pretty well with only a little down time before. This routine is really working well for our family and it makes being a mommy so much easier. Most importantly, he seems really happier with the changes. He barely ever cries now and I love that he feels so content with us!

Something to be thankful for...

I have a moment to blog!

My little one is sleeping and my husband is out shopping. He is a die hard cheep ass, so the day after Thanksgiving sales give him a major hard on... Me personally, I can pass because I really hate people. So, he is off with our gal pals scoping out great deals on baby clothes and other junk while I am at home snuggled in our warm bed.

In other news...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Obviously if you have ever read any entry is my blog you know how thankful I am to be blessed with a child. Last year at this time, I felt so defeated and depressed and I thought this would never happen. Now, I am living my dream come true. I can honestly say I have loved every minute of being a mom and I am not just blowing smoke up your ass and being all guppy. I truly know what I have been blessed with and I will never take that for granted.

Now that my little guy is just over three months old, it is so neat to see how he has grown. He went from this sleepy snuggler to a kicking, smiley, giggly boy. Everyday he does something new and I love being able to watch as he grows. I finally left him to go get a massage and although I missed him like crazy, it was a well deserved break for me. Life with a baby has brought so many changes. I never used to laugh at farts, but now I can't help but giggle when my little one rips a man sized fart then smiles. Also, puke (spit-up) used to make me gag and now I am immune.

I some how have gotten a block and can write no more so until next time...

Life with a baby...

Life with a baby is so different...

Before, I could go to the store at the drop of a dime...
And now, I have a buddy that needs to be fed before leaving and two hours into the trip.
I love it.

Before, my husband I and cuddled each other...
And now, a little boy receive those hugs and kisses.
I love it.

Before, I swore like a sailor...
And now, I still do but not within earshot of the wee one because I don't want him to be the kindergartner that says fuck.
I love it.

Before, I would be embarrassed to sing even my favorite songs out loud...
And now, I blurt out ridiculous lyrics that don't even make sense just to calm the little guy.
He loves it!

Before, I had time...
And now, there isn't enough...

Before I could write a blog entry in 5 minutes...
Now it takes me two days!

All the changes are awesome and I cherish every moment because I know time flies and before we know it our little boy won't be so little anymore. Also, because he is our miracle... I will forever be grateful for these changes.

Woot!

My baby boy slept through the night last night! Lets hope he does it again tonight! As soon as he masters sleeping through the night, we'll start working on getting him in his own bed and out of ours. Peanut has his two month appointment tomorrow. I am going without Tony and I am totally nervous because Charlie is getting some shots and I HATE to hear the pain wails of my little guy. Hopefully all goes well.

In other news, we'll be going up north this weekend with the in laws to cut Christmas trees from their farm. I am totally bummed that I have to share my little guy all weekend. I am so used to having him to myself during the day. At night Tony and I fight over who gets to hold the baby and who gets to change his diapers. I cringe at the though of going back to work because my Charlie time will be significantly decreased and that makes me so sad.

9 Weeks...

The little man has been in our lives for two months and everyday I fall more and more in love with him. He is cooing and smiling so much now, but I have yet to capture his grin in a photo. He doesn't sleep through the night, but he does really well at going back to sleep after feeding him. Our days are spent cuddling each other and visiting the grandparents. I love seeing the new little things he does each day before anyone else. He is so much more alert now, so we are always talking, singing and playing goofy games that make him smile. I am so glad I took work off until January, although the thought of leaving him even then makes me so sad. I can't even leave him for a few hours yet because I am so attached. He will visit the pediatrician for his two month appointment next week and I can't wait to see how much he has grown. He is just perfect and makes me melt every time I see his little face.

Okay enough...

I know my blog has turned into gushy mushy parent talk...

Someday maybe I'll write a witty post about poop or something, but for now...

Some pictures!

2 Months Old Today!

Mr. October

Happy Halloween!

Playing in the leaves...

So Sleepy!

Call me crazy...

It may be the lack of sleep or maybe the spit-up fumes have gotten to me, but I want another baby ASAP! Call me crazy, but I love being a mom. LOVE IT. It is better than I could have ever imagined and everyday is such a blessing. I have so much love for this little guy and I have no doubts that if we are blessed with another, my love will be just as strong. I truly feel fulfilled.

1 Month and 2 Days

Since I have become a mommy, I also have become a bad blogger.

Sorry...

I will get pictures up soon because I am one of those parents that is convinced my kid is the cutest.

I can't believe one month ago he was just arriving. I sort of feel like an old pro at the parenting thing. I don't feel overly tired and I think I can tell what he wants pretty easily. I stress out about nursing because I feel like I am doing it all of the time and that I am not producing enough. I also stress out when I have visitors because he seems to cry in other people's arms and I hate hearing him cry. We get out of the house frequently because I'd go stir crazy if not but it is always a challenge packing him and his stuff up to go. I have not left him yet nor do I plan on doing so for a little bit longer. The grandparents keep hassling us to leave him, but he is only a month old. Plus, I wouldn't have had kids if I was going to just pawn them off so I could do as I please.

Charlie has his 1 month check-up this week. I am anxious to see how he has grown. He will also be getting a couple of shots this time as well. I am not looking forward to the shots and I think I will let daddy deal with that as I step out of the room.

I am recovering well. I have turned my nose up at that whole 6 week recovery deal. I am feeling like I am ready to be back to my normal self again. I have decided not to return to work until the end of January so I am getting all of that business settled.

That is all for the boring blog update. I swear soon this blog will again contain swearing and all the humor that probably drew you to reading it!

Guess what?

My baby is gaining weight! This means my boobs are doing their job! He weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces at his 1 week appointment and 8 pounds 12 ounces at his two week appointment.

We are heading up north this weekend out of necessity not pleasure. I am not fond of traveling 3.5 hours with a newborn and all of his belonging in my VW Beetle, but we'll be alright I am sure.

The Birth of Charlie!

For those few and faithful blog readers, I am sorry I haven't updated. Last Monday at my scheduled doctor appointment Charlie decided to be a little lazy and not move during his ultrasound so my doctor decided to induce me. I went straight from the appointment to the hospital. Throughout the rest of the day, I was given a drug to soften my cervix and prepare it for labor because I was still high and only dilated to 1 cm. Bright and early Tuesday, I showered and then was put on Pitocin. Pitocin is the devil in every way and someday I will blog about that, but since I only have a few minutes, I will stick to the basics. Anyway, I labored for 3 hours without the epidural and then couldn't take it anymore. The epidural worked for the first two hours, but then started to become ineffective so I defaulted to cursing to ease the pain. Tony was AMAZING through all of this because he just let me do what I needed to do. The cursing did not help the pain, but one amazing nurse suggested I get on all fours and this position made labor bearable. At 6:30 pm I was checked again and I had only dilated to 5cm. Because Charlie looked like he might be in distress, my doctor decided to do a c-section. I was so incredibly scarred to have a c-section, but it was clear that it was the best decision at that point.

Things moved really quickly after the decision to section was made. At 7:04pm our beautiful boy Charlie was born weight in at a whooping 9 pounds 2 ounces and 21.25 inches long. He is perfect in every way. Tony stayed with Charlie after delivery and I went to recovery. Charlie and I got to see my in recovery because he had low blood sugar and I insisted that no bottles be given so I could establish breastfeeding.

Recovery was rough. It was so difficult to move the first few days, but by the third day I was able to move quite well. We stayed in the hospital until Friday and we are now adjusting to life at home. My baby boy is perfect in every way and we are so in love. Breastfeeding is going pretty well and adjusting to life as a mom has been pretty smooth with a couple of bumps along the way. Tony has been the best husband ever and I love and appreciate him so much more than I ever have. I have so much more I want to write, but Grandma is visiting and I have to clean up my house at least a little bit.

Us after I was first admitted

Charlie right after he was born

Charlie all ready to go home!

A little late...

But I figured I'd post some pictures from my showers. All three of them were wonderful and we got some pretty amazing gifts. We are very blessed to have generous family and friends. I have also posted some other random pictures for your viewing pleasure!

Here are a couple from the shower my mom threw for me...

Me, My Mom and Grandpa

The Hubby and I

Me and my BFFs

Here is one from the shower that his mom and sis threw for us...
Yes... We wore the same thing to both... Finding a dress is a PITA and I insist that my husband's attire complements my attire for events like this :)

And here is a picture of Tony at our baby class... He diapered our bear very well and so I have high hopes that he will do great when Charlie arrives!

And even though this is unrelated...

Here is a picture of Tony and I on our 3rd Anniversary in Canada (July 8th, 2009)!

Tuesday Update

Week 38...

FYI: I am updating while I'm waiting for Tony to arrive home with Chinese take out... Mmmm Egg rolls!

The doctor said I am now dilated 1 cm and we scheduled a growth ultrasound for next Monday! I can hardly wait to see the little guy on the screen, but he needs to stay in for as long as possible. The closer he is born to the first day of school (August 31st), the more I get paid for my sick time and mommy needs a paycheck!

I am still feeling pretty well, but I get tired really quickly and bending over sucks. Lately my big thing has been freezing meals and treats for after Charlie arrives. I have not gotten the cleaning urge yet and I am starting to wonder if I ever will. I have also had this major issue with grumpiness. Sorry Tony... I just have little patience right now and it doesn't take too much to set me off.

This week I have been up to the great task of updating our "budget". I use the term loosely because honestly we don't really live on a budget. Because I have been off for internship and I am trying to determine when to go back to work (6 weeks after delivery or wait until the semester end in January), we need to know where we are at and see what is feasible. Staying out for the semester doesn't look too promising right now, but I am crunching some numbers and seeing where we can cut back easily.

Current To Dos Include:
Double check that hospital bags are completely packed and ready to go
Finalize life insurance policy
Complete lesson plans
Get shelves back in nursery (Tony's Task)
Finish shower thank yous
Complete birth announcement address labels
Start/ complete thesis
Get 100 agency internship hours
Last minute shopping for baby
There is more to do, but I really am having trouble focusing on anything but egg rolls right now...

Current Baby Baking Progress:
Your baby is producing surfactant, which will help him take those first breaths while you're producing colostrum, the precursor to breast milk. Hey, your little one isn't so little anymore, weighing close to seven pounds and measuring 20 inches long. Fetal development is nearly complete as your baby tends to a few last-minute details like shedding the skin-protecting vernix and lanugo. He's also producing more surfactant, a substance that prevents the air sacs in his lungs from sticking to one another once he starts to breathe. Meanwhile, your body is tending to its own final touches before the big day, one of which is getting that milk machine up and running. Part of the process is producing colostrum, a thin yellowish liquid that's the precursor to breast milk. Colostrum is full of antibodies that protect your newborn, and has more protein and less fat and milk sugar (the better to digest it) than the breast milk that arrives later. Chances are you're leaking colostrum so you might want to break out those nursing pads now. If you're not leaking but you are curious about this miracle substance, you can gently squeeze your areola to express a few drops.

Step away from the fucking nursery...

Please...

FOR THE LOVE OF MY SANITY...

Step away from the fucking nursery husband of mine...

I knew Lamaze breathing would come in handy, but I never expected for this situation...

After I have worked so hard to get the nursery perfect (no easy task for an awkward preggo) my husband decided to pull the closet shelves out to dry out the fucking shower access...

How about just fixing the fucking shower and leaving the fucking nursery alone?

M-KAY

Thanks

The obsessive compulsive side of me is about to explode and I will most definitely lose sleep over this.

He, however, is just singing away like this is no big deal...

Rationally, I know this is not as big of a deal as it seems to me, but this shit is driving me batty.

Grrrrr....