Damn, Damn, DAMN...

So disregard yesterday's entry... I have not started the process yet. Now, I know this is a lot of information to be sharing but truly this is a big part of this process. I only have two more weeks to do this, if I can't, my doctor is going to knock my ass out and do it for me. This is NOT something I want to go through. I hate hospitals and I frequently have nightmares about them. I know that this isn't an uncommon fear, but to me it is paralyzing. I will call to schedule an ultrasound on Friday of this week if nothing has happened yet. I refuse to have the doctor do this. I truly believe that my body is capable of doing this itself. I have already failed at being pregnant, I don't want to fail at miscarrying too...