It has been awhile...
I am losing faith in this whole process...
I miscarried at the end of August and I still am dealing with the waiting game. I have not gotten my period yet nor does a pregnancy test read positive. I think I've peed on 6 sticks this week and I have huge regrets that I didn't choose to chart....
I hate that my body is being so fucking pissy...
I on different note, I did get to see both of my sister inlaws' ultrasound of their perfect babies... They are half way there...
I should be too...
My nieces or nephews are the cutest, I have already spoiled them with Dairy Queen!
There is talk about the baby showers already and I can barely stomach the thought of getting through those days...
Hopefully we can do a double shower for them since they are due only days apart...
I still fight the tears... I can't believe that this has happened to me, not once, but twice...
Work (Teaching) is going well... I am thinking about applying for a new job as a counselor in a neighboring district... They get out of school on Memorial day and the school is located only minutes from my house...
School (Masters classes for school counseling) is going okay because we are on break right now... Big program test on October 25th then an internship... I am so close to being done!
Roommate has paid rent through the end of this month so he'll be around for at least 30 more days... Still no housekeeper out of the deal yet...
Seriously considering a move to Cali... Both our moms cried... Hard to let your babies go...
That is what is rockin' in my world... For all of your that read... Thanks for listening to me as I go through this...
Listen To This: Eyes On You!
6 years ago
1 comment:
Hang in there!! I'm wearing the same pair of shoes that you are and I don't want to walk in them anymore! It is amazing that one test can change your entire world, and then when you miscarry it makes you lose faith in everything. A good friend of mine told me (today actually when I was having a mini breakdown) that sometimes people have to work harder and when it works it is just perfect. I have to take those words to heart, because I know someday it will happen it's just the getting there that's hard. Try to stay positive and remember that you are not alone. I wish you the best of luck!
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