Going, going, gone...

I am just really able to write because of the furry of emotions I have been dealing with... As of Friday my Beta levels dropped to 3, so I am almost officially not pregnant anymore. I feel sad, but I am glad I can get pregnant. After 8 months of lackadaisically trying and several years of no mistakes, one starts to wonder if it is possible even. I am getting the crazy pregnancy hormones out of my system, but in the meantime I am kind of blue. I blame myself even though everything says that these things can't be prevented. I am trying to get over that... I think I want to wait to try again, but we'll see. Telling our family that there is no longer a pregnancy sucked, but they are all supportive. I'll write more when I have processed what I have gone through in the last week.

An Emotional Roller Coaster

Tuesday:
My levels were 16... This would be normal levels for someone who is about maybe 3 or 4 weeks along but not 6 weeks. I will get my blood drawn again tomorrow to see if this number increases. I hope that I am really just ignorant about my cycles and that the numbers increases as expected. If they don't increase, this is probably a chemical pregnancy. I really am an emotional wreck and my poor husband probably wants to bash me over the head. On a more promising note, the doctor did an internal exam and said that my cervix was closed and it is usually open for someone who is experiencing a miscarriage. We shall wait to see what happens...

Monday:
The spotting has continued a little so I again called Dr. Hardas. She has been absolutely wonderful! She said that I should get an ultrasound immediately. During the ultrasound there was nothing... This might happen if I was really early, but since my last period was February 10th , I should be about 6 weeks along. Because there was nothing on the ultrasound, I was sent to get my blood drawn to check my beta levels. I was given an appointment for early Tuesday to discuss the results.

Happy Birthday!

To me... And what is my present???

More spotting...

Awesomeness!

At least my heartburn is helping me to focus on other things. I am going to call the doctor on Monday. I am well on my way to being that crazy pregnant lady!

Spotting

It still hadn't really set in that I am pregnant until today when I started spotting. I am terrified that something is going to go wrong, but I am hoping for the best. I called Dr. Hardas and she said to try not to worry, because light bleeding is normal early in pregnancy. I really don't want to be one of those annoying pregnant women that calls every minute, but this doesn't feel normal. I will hope for the best and pray like crazy that everything is indeed "normal".

Telling the Sibs...

Today we told our siblings that they were going to be aunts and uncles. Each one was so supportive and excited. It is so nice to be close with family members. This baby is going to be so blessed to be joining our families!

Telling the Grandparents...

Today I took another test, just to be certain. Even though I have massive doubts about telling anyone yet, in case something goes wrong, Tony convinced me that we should tell our parents. I am not great at keeping secrets so after school I picked up some cards and we told Fred and Kathy and then my parents. Both were beyond excited. This baby will be the second grandchild on the his side and the first on the my side. I also got to tell me oldest brother because he stopped by my mom and dad's house while we were there. He thought I was kidding at first, but when I convinced him this was no early April Fools, he was pretty excited for us.

Oh Baby!

Oh baby, We are pregnant! After about 8 cycles it has finally happened for us. I really thought this day would never come, but I am so excited! This morning I decided to test because I am on day 39 of my cycle and they are never that long. I got the lightest of lines, but a line is a line. I immediately rushed in the bedroom to tell Tony. It probably isn't fun to wake up at 5am to your wife screaming "Tony, Tony! We are pregnant!" and then be tackled and dragged in the bathroom to see a pee stick with the faintest of lines on it, but I think he'll forgive me. Since this is so unbelievable, during my planning at school I went to Meijer and bought at least six more tests and took one at school. I only took it at school because I had conferences and I am totally impatient about waiting. It was positive again! After conferences all of my colleagues were going out for a drink, which is usually something I would never pass up but now obviously I do, and that is when it hit me, I AM REALLY PREGNANT!